Doggy's Boggy Drunken Berries

     Dexter loves cranberries, and he thinks they should be eaten more often than Christmas and Thanksgiving. So he's proposing July 4 as National Cranberry Day. Here's his favorite recipe:

3 C fresh or frozen cranberries (about 12 ounces)

1 Tbsp. minced ginger (Dexter uses bottled)

3 C dry red wine - you could substitute some orange liqueur for some of the wine

1 C sugar (wimps can use more)

3/4 tsp. curry powder

1/2 tsp. five spice powder (Dexter says this is essential and you’ll end up using it for lots    

        of things)

1/4 cup chopped crystallized ginger - if anybody can tell Dexter an easy way to chop 

        this stuff, he’ll hump your leg forever

     Put wine and sugar in a saucepan and heat to a boil, stirring. When sugar has dissolved add cranberries and ginger, turn the heat down to maintain a simmer, and stir until the cranberries begin to pop.

      Keep simmering until the mixture reduces to your liking, probably about 30 minutes, then add the curry powder, five spice powder, and crystallized ginger. Cool it off a little so you don’t burn your tongue, or eat it cold. Try and think of lots of ways to use it. Dexter likes to eat it with cheese and crackers. You’ll end up with about 3 1/2 cups.

Never Pee On An Olive Tree

     I had to bribe Dexter with a new chef’s toque to get him to part with this recipe. Now that he’s found such a delicious use for olives, he’s afraid there will be a shortage if too many people decide to make it. And he wants all dogs to stay away from olive trees - they should use a mesquite tree or a fire hydrant instead!

     I discovered olive gastrique at Crudo Cafe in Old Town Scottsdale. It was a revelation. Here is Wickipedia’s definition of gastrique:

     “Gastrique is a thick sauce produced by a reduction of vinegar or wine, sugar, and usually fruit. It is often served over meat or seafood to add a fruit flavor to the dish.”

Either Cullen Campbell or Brandon Crouser, the chef/owners of Crudo, came up with the idea of using olives, rather than a more traditional fruit like oranges or berries. Dexter came up with this recipe:

1/2 lb. green olives, not marinated, pitted (Dexter hit them with a hammer)

1 C. sugar

1/2 C rice wine vinegar

1 large orange

fennel seeds

rosemary

Leaving the pith behind, take strips of peel from the orange, then juice it. Place the fennel seeds or rosemary in a piece of cheesecloth and tie it closed. Put all the ingredients in a small saucepan and bring to a boil, stirring. Turn the heat down and simmer for around 30 minutes until the mixture is syrupy. Be aware that it will thicken a little on standing, so don’t reduce it too much. Cool to room temperature and refrigerate. Dexter doesn’t know how long it will keep, but he’s pretty sure this won’t be an issue. It’s great with cheese or in sandwiches, or just by itself when you’re poking through the refrigerator looking for something good.

So Good I Want To Roll In It Fig Spread

Combine these ingredients to taste, amounts given are just suggestions:

1/4 C fig jam (found in Middle Eastern groceries)
1 tsp. anchovy paste
2 cloves garlic, minced

I know this sounds weird, and maybe even awful, but try it. Dexter especially likes it in his
grilled cheese sandwiches.

Ay Chihuahua Chili

1 1/2 lbs. ground pork

2 cans pinto beans (or whatever kind your human likes), rinsed and drained

1 16 oz. jar chipotle salsa 

1 1/4 C. merlot

1/3 C hoisin sauce - that’s what makes this chili so special

1 C chopped onions

1 1.24 oz pkg. taco seasoning mix

4 oz can chopped chiles

3 Tbsp. cocoa powder

3 Tbsp. brown sugar

1 t cinnamon

sour cream

scallions

Cook and drain the pork, then add all the ingredients except the sour cream and scallions. Cook until the sauce is as thick as you like it, garnish with sour cream and scallions and serve.

Serves 6 humans, or 4 humans and 2 dogs (the farts will make you say ay chihuahua!!)

Pad Kee Meow - Mildly spicy ground chicken with rice noodles

INGREDIENTS

1. 1/2 (14-ounce) package wide rice noodles
2. 1/4 cup oyster sauce
3. 1/4 cup fish sauce
4. 1/4 cup lime juice (from about 2 limes)
5. 3 tablespoons brown sugar
6. 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
7. 1 medium onion, thinly sliced
8. 3 medium garlic cloves, peeled and coarsely chopped
9. 1 pound ground chicken
10. 2 medium yellow or orange bell peppers, thinly sliced
11. 3 large eggs, lightly beaten

1. 1 medium jalapeño peppers, thinly sliced & seeded

1. 1 cup loosely packed Thai basil leaves, torn

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Place noodles in a large bowl and cover with boiling water. Soak for about 15 minutes, until loose and pliable but not soft; drain and set aside. Meanwhile, combine oyster sauce, fish sauce, lime juice and brown sugar in a medium nonreactive bowl, mix well, and set aside.
2. Heat oil in a large (12-inch) frying pan over medium-high heat. Once heated, add onions and garlic and cook for 2 minutes or until softened but not brown. Add ground chicken and break into small pieces. Cook until chicken is white and almost cooked through, about 3 minutes.  Add bell peppers and stir-fry just until they begin to soften, about 5 minutes. Drain off excess liquid.
3. Push chicken mixture to one side of the pan and add eggs to the center. Scramble with a spatula until eggs are set and don’t run, about 3 minutes. Push eggs to the side and add reserved sauce mixture. Once the sauce is boiling, add the drained noodles and toss to coat. Remove from heat, add jalapeños and basil, and toss to combine; serve immediately, at room temperature, or cold.
4. Serves 4